Friday 29 November 2019

馃槇 21 Evil Things To Do On Your Last Day On The Job

You've been laid off, fired or quit. Before you say goodbye, how should you handle your last day at work?

Telephone wrapped with rubber bands prank
Photo by Matt Reinbold

Pranks and funny things to do on your last day of work

21. Have a nice onion-filled breakfast before heading in to work for the last time

20. Film your final day with a GoPro'ed helmet so you can later post “highlights” to YouTube

19. Post-It notes are your friend. Hide random notes around the office in places where they'll only be found weeks or even months later. Write things like ‘I know what you just did' or ‘It wasn't like this when [your name] was here'

18. Make smiley faces & leave cutesy messages (“miss you”) on random blank pages in the photocopier or printer.

17. Permanent markers. Whiteboards. Need I say more?

funny whiteboard drawing with permanent marker

16. File expense reports with bills you found on the floor at a supermarket or sports store.

15. Carve your initials into your computer screen.

14. Change your computer's wallpaper to a big closeup of your eyes.

13. Privately tell 3-4 random ex-coworkers-to-be how you heard they're next on the chopping block.

12. If your company has any internal mailing lists, take 10 minutes to subscribe them to external mailing lists that everyone will “enjoy”

11. Then, subscribe the company-wide mailing list to itself.

got-fired-get-revenge

10. Use the company resource reservation system to completely book all meeting rooms for the next 2 years

9. Now's as good a time as any for those company-related questions you originally left out on your annual performance evaluation forms, don't you think?

8. Cry a lot throughout the day. Not the way you would normally cry though. Screechier.

7. Speaking of former employees… do that a lot.

6. Give an emotional farewell speech where you randomly pick someone and slowly, very deliberately, say “But [their name]… I'll miss you the most” with a slight smirk, all the while eying them in the creepiest way you can.

5. Look at that farewell speech as your last chance to give others some constructive criticism to remember you by.

evil last day 1

4. Be over-the-top sincere in telling each ex-colleague-to-be how you're still going to keep in touch with them. Extra points for doing this with superiors.

3. Brag about the new, better, higher paying, less stressful job you've already got lined up… at a major competitor.

2. Tell your boss how you really feel about them. Don't hold back, honesty is the best policy. Next, tell your boss's boss how *your boss* feels about them, in a post-layoff followup email, if they're currently unavailable.

1. Cat-tack someone, anyone

cattack

Bonus

0. Purposely forget to tell everyone about the pizzas you've ordered to the office tomorrow.

0b. Change a critical company password without telling anyone and then demand cash for it (which someone actually did)

evil last day tweet

What you actually should do on your last day at work

READ NEXT: This Checklist is Key to Leaving Any Company Successfully

Question of the article

What do you think are funny things to do on your last day of work? Have you done any of them, or seen anyone else do them? Tell your story in the comments.

What others are saying

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Friday 15 November 2019

馃 How To Safely Job Search In Emergency Situations

Hopefully you'll never need to job search in danger (unless that's part of the job) but these lessons will help you in any job search situation.

lightning in a purple sky
Photo by Lee Junda

Have you ever had to look for a job in emergency conditions?

Extreme situations happen all the time and can affect anyone's job search no matter where you live, such as crazy weather, building fires or others.

For more than two decades, citizens in various parts of Israel have lived under the threat of terrorist rocket fire, and needed to rearrange their lives when it become more than a threat.

As a local resident for most of that time, I've had my share of tough moments on and off the job search. Fortunately, there were some good lessons to take away for any job search…

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

job search emergency situations 1

Summer 2006

Part I

In April 2006, my old company downsized my entire team of web developers and I. “Yippee,” I thought, “now we can go back to Israel.” My pregnant wife, 2 kids and I had been living in Paris (France) and after almost 4 years, it was time to leave.

May and June were spent learning how job search had changed in the past few years, creating a LinkedIn profile, updating and translating my resume into Hebrew.

Finally, towards the end of June, I started applying for jobs in Israel and quickly scheduled a week of interviews in mid-July.

On July 12th at around 6am, I landed in Israel after a night flight with a stopover in Prague. Not having slept much but having the whole morning to relax before a 2:30pm interview in Tel Aviv, I took a taxi straight from the airport to the beach and fell asleep… waking up in time to shower, change and grab a quick lunch before a taxi to Ramat Hachayal, the Tel Aviv neighborhood where many tech companies are based.

This was how my conversation started with the cab driver:

Me: “Nice day, isn't it?”

Driver: “What are you, crazy? Don't you know that a war is starting? Haven't you heard the news?”

Me: “Um, no. I was lounging on the beach all morning…”

While I was staring at the clouds, Hezbollah had fired rockets into northern Israel and attacked an IDF patrol near the Lebanon border, killing 3 soldiers and capturing 2 others. The army raced to respond and the Second Lebanon War began.

Over the next 9 days, I had 6 job interviews, all in the Tel Aviv – Herzliya area, far from where the rockets were falling in the North. Aside from small talk about the latest news from the front, I would never have otherwise known that a war was going on.

Part II

August 7th. Via a stopover in Budapest, I returned for a second visit to Israel and 7 more interviews, some of which were further north than last time but still not that close to the war zone where rockets were falling daily.

However, on August 13th, I got my first taste of rocket fire when I visited family friends in Haifa during Hezbollah's final barrage before the ceasefire went into effect the next morning.

I saw the full range of reactions to the air raid sirens and bombardment- people who kept driving as if the sirens weren't blaring, people who calmly but quickly took cover according to IDF guidelines, people who panicked and burst into tears regardless of whether they were exposed outdoors or safe in a bomb shelter. And all throughout, people calling or sending text messages to relay where a rocket (almost) landed and that they were ok.

Some businesses were open and some were closed, so if I had had any job interviews in the area, I would have had to call ahead to confirm on the day of the meeting. If the hiring company was open, would asking to reschedule to a quieter time have been ok? Probably, since no one thought the war would go on for months on end, but showing solidarity is a great way to stand out.

job search emergency situations 2

Fall 2012

Hamas rocket fragment that fell in Ashdod, Israel

The rockets from the North a thing of the past – hopefully for good – now it's the South that was getting hit.

Operation Pillar of Defense started on November 14th with the goal of finally putting an end to the rocket fire from Gaza that had sadly become the norm for years (4 years here in Ashdod, almost 12 years for people in Sderot, near the border).

One big change is that since the previous year, the Iron Dome defense system had been in place to destroy incoming rockets. Back then, it had a success rate well over %80, but even when it did the job, burning rocket pieces can still hurt people and cause damage where they fall, like when a chunk of warhead (pictured) landed in my friend's garden, shaking the whole house.

Here's what the system looks like simultaneously taking out 14 rockets at night, when it's a lot easier to see in action:

Although Pillar of Defense had only gone on for less than a week, the initial impression most locals had was that it would go on for much longer. As a result, many people left the area to stay with family, friends or one of the many families across the country that opened their houses to us.

More than a few businesses closed from one day to the next, and some public transportation was reduced with everyone pretty much staying indoors as much as possible.

As in Haifa in 2006, you couldn't job interview if a company was closed, but you could reschedule. If you couldn't, or they preferred not to, fast mobile Internet access meant you could suggest a video interview with your smartphone.

Otherwise, you could also spend a little more time than usual job searching and networking online, especially if your computer could connect to the Internet from your bomb shelter or safe room.

job search emergency situations 3

Summer 2014

I originally posted this article in November 2012 during Operation Pillar of Defense.

Almost 2 years later, Hamas decided it would be a good idea to pick up where they left off, sending over 1000 rockets towards Israeli cities (with at least 100 falling in Gaza on their own people too).

Over 40 of those rockets were aimed at my hometown of Ashdod, but thanks to the amazing Iron Dome anti-missile system, only a handful actually landed in town.

This security blanket allowed many Israelis to continue going to work and living a normal life but with irregular work breaks due to air raid sirens, short walks to safe rooms and then, listening for loud booms as missiles collide in the sky above.

If you're in the middle of a job interview when such a warning rings out, how you react in that mini-crisis can actually help you make a good impression while also learning about the employer, your interviewer and its other employees. It's almost a surprise example of group dynamics testing or behavioral testing.

job search emergency situations 4

6 best practices for job search in an emergency area or danger zone

Here's what you should keep in mind if you're looking for a job in an emergency:

  1. Keep a cool head at all times, showing that you can be counted on in pressure situations
  2. Safety first, and that's your top priority until the danger level has gone down a lot
  3. Make sure you have Internet access in your bomb shelter, safe room or anywhere else you may need to stay temporarily
  4. Focus more on Internet-based job search, company research and networking online
  5. Avoid exposure by doing video interviews
  6. Call one day ahead, or even the day of, to confirm your job interview is still scheduled. You may be in a safe place, but perhaps your interviewer isn't and they need to reschedule

Question of the article

Have any of your job searches been affected by extreme situations, such as war, riots or stormy weather? How was it different than usual? Tell us in the comments.

Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter for more exceptional job search tips for exceptional job search situations.


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Friday 1 November 2019

馃ぉ Choose An Awesome Volunteer Job To Get An Awesome Paid Job

Can volunteering lead to a paid job? Volunteer work can help you in your job search, if you take the time to search for the right volunteer work.

Volunteers gardening in front of a building
Photo by Anna Earl

Why volunteer when you're supposed to be looking for a job?

Because it's the right thing to do?

Because it will make you a better person?

All true, but you need a job. You need to pay the bills, and how is an unpaid volunteer role going to help with that?

Well then how about this-

A 2013 study found that “volunteering is associated with a 27% higher odds of employment.”

That study was conducted by the USA-based Corporation for National & Community Service, who clearly want to encourage volunteering. How credible is the result?

A similar organization out of the UK, the National Council for Voluntary Organisations (NCVO), published a 2018 research briefing that painted a slightly more complex picture, saying:

Evidence shows unemployed people who volunteer frequently (on a weekly basis) reduce their chances of re-employment…

The few studies looking at the impact of UK government volunteering initiatives on finding a job show that only a minority of people who complete the programme find a paid job and say that it was volunteering that helped them do so…

However, volunteering can improve people’s skills, which may in turn help them find employment. Research suggests that volunteering improves both ‘hard’ skills, such as IT or customer relations, and ‘soft’ skills, such as teamwork and communication

So volunteering can help your job search, if you choose wisely…

I started volunteering at my local synagogue at a very young age when I could not have cared less about job search.

That's ok!

Donated time volunteering is never a waste, neither for you nor for the recipients.

Being active as a volunteer is a great way to meet people and discover things about yourself that can then lead to job openings and even new career directions.

Have these specific goals in mind when deciding on volunteer jobs that can best lead to employment.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

5 tough choices if you're wondering whether volunteering leads to employment

1) Aim for the right organization

Volunteer at the place that will most help your personal brand and job search goals.

If your goal is to be recognized as an expert, share your expertise on a regular basis at a local chapter of an industry association or chamber of commerce, or perhaps write op-eds or blog posts for that association.

If your goal is to be recognized for a specific job, offer your services in that role to a large charity that e.g highlights its volunteers on its website.

2) Aim for the right role

A volunteering position should appear on your resume just like any other position, and not all roles are equal with regards to your career.

Which role will enable you to make best use of your skills AND provide great benefits to the organization?

That combination is key to being a successful volunteer and getting recognition for it.

3) Aim for the right team

This is a tough one, I admit it. Just like when you get hired for a job, you'll rarely be offered a choice of who your boss would be.

Instead, practice your company research skills with this exercise: just like when you job search, before applying to volunteer for an organization, spend some time learning about the people whom you would likely work with and understand how they could help you in the future.

For instance, an (older?) well-connected supervisor would be preferable to someone who's also just getting started in the organization.

4) Aim for the right recipients

As part of the organization, who are the people or other organizations that you will spend your volunteer time helping?

Look for a role where you will get to help recipients directly so that people can learn about you & your work both inside AND outside the organization.

5) Aim for the right time to join

This is more relevant in some cases than others. Some organizations have more volunteer opportunities during busier times of year, are only active seasonally, etc.

Another angle is to consider: can a volunteer organization enable you to get into an otherwise inaccessible event, or even an otherwise inaccessible career, perhaps in an industry that's growing fast but where you lack experience?

Do what it takes to be in the right place at the right time.

Question of the article

Have you ever tried to use volunteering as part of your job search? Did it help? Tell your story in the comments.

What others are saying

I originally published a version of this article on the terrific Personal Branding Blog.

READ NEXT: 10 Best Practices to Volunteer Your Way To a Paid Job

Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter for more ideas on good deeds that lead to good jobs.


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