😁 Funniest Resume Skills Actually Seen On Real Resumes

Most job seekers mean well when it comes to listing skills on their resumes. All too often it's recruiters and us other readers who get the most benefit.

Photo by Hayden Dunsel

Everyone's seen those hilarious resume blunders coming from a single letter being out of place, typos that lead to “great pubic speaker”, “party-time assistant”, etc.

This list isn't about those.

This list is for the resume skills that job seekers are proud of enough to put on their resumes, and funny enough to leave you shaking your head or laughing out loud.

You be the judge. Enjoy!

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Funny resume skills you're glad other people have

Via Quora:

• 9/10 correct predictions for the Academy awards in 2010, 11/11 accurate predictions in 2011 and 12/13 correct in 2012
• MS Office (only)
• Googling
• Can solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute
• Can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
• Special quality: can impress any girl with in 5 minutes
• One applicant listed what their favorite sections of the local paper are. The sections weren't relevant to the job, and the paper's really not very good.
• Adept in the fine art of pretzel folding
• Cleaning up the dead bodies (from someone who had worked at an assisted living center for senior citizens)
• Can recite Pi up to 500 digits
• Skipped 111 times in a minute to consolidate the 2nd position in the Limca Book of Records
• Always uses just the right amount of salt, no matter the shaker
• Cocking pastas
• Playing card games
• Hangging with my friends and family
• Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer
• Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes
• Can charm anyone, even a pigeon
• Solving puzzles
• Exceptional poker player
• Participated in Fusion dance number
• Best Smile Award in Grade 8
• Ghost in high school horror house

Via Reddit:

• I work well with piers (guy was an exhibit builder)
• Proficient at Facebook, Twitter, and email
• Agility training with my dog
• Can cook minute rice in 58 seconds
• Able to say the ABCs backwards in under 5 seconds
• I'm a big dude so I can handle myself in a fight
• Experienced drinker & partier, so I'm comfortable working in environments with drunk people
• Can hold five baseballs in one hand (“When the staff was all drunk one day someone called him and told the poor guy that if he could handle six balls in one hand, the job was his”)
• Surviving

From 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever:

• Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
• Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail
• Can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet
• I can type without looking at thekeyboard
• I am a Notary Republic
• I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home
• I have technical skills that will take your breath away
• Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years
• I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings
• Being bilingual in 3 languages

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Read Ann Litz‘s answer to What was the craziest thing you've ever seen or written in a resume or CV? on Quora

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From 150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever:

• Gator hunting
• Calculator on sight
• Sarcasm
• Can make perfect velociraptor call
• Riding a bicycle
• In a computer skills section: Tiger Woods Golf
• Skills: “Yeah I got ’em”
• Main skills: creativity, bravery, arrogance, cleverness and honesty
• Walking – I am very good at this

Funny resume skills from other sources:

• I rarely get sick
• Advanced Yo-Yo
• So many spreadsheets
• Understood (the movie) Interstellar
• Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details
• Quick at typing, about 30 words per minute, 45 with strong coffee
• Gossiping
• Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep
• Extensive experience with foreign accents

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Question of the article

Which of the funny resume skills above made you laugh hardest? What's the funniest thing you've seen on a resume (yours or someone else's)? Tell us in the comments.

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Bonus: Phoebe and Joey talk about his funny resume skills

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